A damned paragraph

Stop hunting me, beauty in disguise. You're my prelude to disgrace, the ropes thigh around my fists pulling me down, facing the darkness, embracing my fall. "It shall reign in a thousand years of misery and you, my servant of desperation, will behold the fall of the empire that you love so much." - her words still echoing in my head, far away and so near the haunts my mind and rots my soul to the core. I deteriorate and she sees me in my desperation, trying to hold, trying to grab the slightest ray of hope to pull me out of this... Maybe anger, maybe bloodthirst, this flashes of rage that consume me bit by bit just by hearing, just by seeing, unable to grab her hand, choke her neck and then cry a supplication in the cold rain, stripped to my soul in sincerity of my love. And seeing tears, drinking her pain, throwing away everything that she knew as her own, as her world, replacing it with memories of her and me, a lifetime away to be. To steal everything from her, egoistic and sadistic, just this selfish desire to feed my ego with a new toy to throw in the garbage, everything a reason to feel down and miserable and let her consume my dreams and my darkness, placing my soul in her hands. In time she'll realise that my body is a empty container, my soul was vain and so it was drained long ago, placed on a white rose on top of highest green hill, where the sunshine never stops shining and I'm closer to Mother than I have ever been.
I'm blind and I live in bliss, I'll never accept my feelings as a part of myself.