Tenho uma indubitável paixão entre mãos. A questão é assassinada pela queda das águas no meio destas rochas. O som místico da natureza é considerável dentro de mim. Sinto-me no topo do mundo sentado nestas rochas, a olhar para o lago lá em baixo com os peixes a nadarem na sua inocência e ignorância. O simples reflexo do Sol nas suas escamas deixa-me num sonhos desta terra perfeita que não quero deixar. Os arbustos, as árvores, uma completa casa em que relaxo sem um único pensamento de ferro e aço. Nestes tempos de isolação perfeita, este monólitos são o meu refúgio e o reflexo da minha alma, rodeados do verde da relva. O vento uiva os suspiros dos lobos que me vêm fazer companhia, aquecer-me nestas noites e proteger-me da mão e mente da humanidade. Passeio por estas terras perdidas, enriquecendo a minha paixão.
No fim do dia encontro-me perante um campo de girassol, rosas e cravos. Aqui reside o meu coração e aqui ficará o meu sangue porque nem palavras nem expressões faciais - nem mesmo lágrimas - conseguem exprimir a minha felicidade e confiança que este sítio mágico cria. Aqui o tempo não passa então deito-me entre mares de espinhos e pétalas, observando as nuvens do céu e o azul que reflecte o mar. É como se tudo isto e eu no meio formássemos uma aurora invisível e desconhecida aos olhos negros de tudo o resto poluído. Aqui só entro e existo eu, na comunidade da Natureza e na sagrada ordem da Deusa. Não me consigo abandonar aqui e dividir-me por tudo o resto porque tudo o resto é o que quero sentir e exprimir por mim. Então ponho-me a caminho para outras terras de mim para que não perca tudo ao desejar o mundo.
Uma flor no cabelo, vou oferecê-la à minha imaginação por me permitir continuar a caminhar. Esta terra debaixo dos meus pés derrete-se em lama e reflecte os pedaços partidos da minha alma. Ainda aqui, não daqui sairei pelos gritos de ninguém. Nem ajuda será necessária a correr para as florestas verdes e castanhas das árvores sagradas onde me prendi uma vez por meditação. Debaixo do Carvalho central me sento e espero o orvalho matinal para completar esta paisaigem esplendorosa. O Sol a nascer uma vez mais atrás das montanhas, o vale lá em baixo incluído no meu sangue derramado. Aqui adormeço com a primeira gota de vinho na boca e a última do orvalho a abençoar-me. Que mais preciso aqui para além de mim?
quarta-feira, 14 de janeiro de 2009
A soul inside
Sometimes I miss you, those times are too much of pain to remember, those long ago times when we smiled together. Divinity crushed into infinity, a stars dream was our own and we stood on foot in the dead of the night. Without shame, we defied the skis, without fear, our heads crashed together creating a blind light. Although miles apart, we were glued to each other in heart and soul. And there was something special there, in a little time before the carfue of the soul. Then I felt stricken, now I'm just numb.
You felt like cancer to me, a dead weight that a strict diet couldn't kill. I drove through this land of forsaken mistakes and renewed the mountains with flowers of disdain and ignorance. I travelled in the fog, I consumed this evaporated water drops, all for the same old errors that a regular human should do. I wanted to see your blue sea eyes, caress your blond hair and to feel... simply feel. And I ran, distancing you from my carnal and soul intentions, I feared the change. I would preserve my emptiness. So I picked up my guitar and got on my way straight home.
Oh the sadness and the grieve I felt inside. Now the news related your death and your suicidal note was dedicated to me, with more love in each letter that I could ever feel for you. Your southern speech, the wind you brought along with you heat, when will I be able to defy the Moon again? Without your hand in mind, I'm a piece of cold and relentless fear, wishing you were here to punish and love me with your tender lips. You were the best torture that I felt and never again shall I feel again. Under this rain, I write words to you that are washed away and forgotten by the world but you shall never die inside me.
You felt like cancer to me, a dead weight that a strict diet couldn't kill. I drove through this land of forsaken mistakes and renewed the mountains with flowers of disdain and ignorance. I travelled in the fog, I consumed this evaporated water drops, all for the same old errors that a regular human should do. I wanted to see your blue sea eyes, caress your blond hair and to feel... simply feel. And I ran, distancing you from my carnal and soul intentions, I feared the change. I would preserve my emptiness. So I picked up my guitar and got on my way straight home.
Oh the sadness and the grieve I felt inside. Now the news related your death and your suicidal note was dedicated to me, with more love in each letter that I could ever feel for you. Your southern speech, the wind you brought along with you heat, when will I be able to defy the Moon again? Without your hand in mind, I'm a piece of cold and relentless fear, wishing you were here to punish and love me with your tender lips. You were the best torture that I felt and never again shall I feel again. Under this rain, I write words to you that are washed away and forgotten by the world but you shall never die inside me.
segunda-feira, 12 de janeiro de 2009
A taste of winter
I feel her slipping away, withdrawing from my hands in a second moment of light. She felt the pain and she battled inside but the grieve was too much, the damage to her soul had been done. Not by me but the was nothing I could do to change it. She wouldn't let me help. Now, she's a careless angel with wings that don't spread, she can't see them. She fled from within my hands and I feel so alone in this cold season. In this virgin snow I step of frozen tears mixture with blood. All mine and all dead. For the debut of her beauty in the deadly month of May, she burned my happiness and in the hottest month of August, she gave my eyes life once again. Now leaving to her past, she will not see what she left here, an imprisoned demon to her lack of confidence. She won't know the chains that keep me here, tortured, mistaken for another common mortal. She wouldn't help my soul. Now, no one within my security, she doesn't want me to die for her and I'm drowning in my emptiness. I can't do anything for her anymore.
One night of lights and laughter, I tasted your lips and you ran away. You shock your head away and used the first boat home to your mean of safety, your own self. I meant nothing to you yet you returned to that place with me. Your vision made me smile for days and nights. Your lips once again in mine and I was in a dream. A dream where you could smile and we held hands, no one else around mattered. We went home and words were the only night and life remaining here. You, in my bed, just the silence and the two of us. Life stood frozen in the dead of the night for us. Still you wouldn't look me in the eyes, still you refused to acquire the love that I felt and still feel for you. It was a last chance of acquaintance for this time. In the next morning you said goodbye and travelled through the fog, into uncertain waters. I couldn't see your face or make you smile again. More of a punishment that life itself. The words I typed with you in the nights of longing reached somewhere that wasn't you, still I saw you again. Once last time and you in my arms. Amidst the sunsets that I've never seen, in that unknown land that you walk around, I saw the trees with you and the sadness in your eyes. A day passed and I didn't even heard the hours pass. You just ran and I didn't saw you leave me behind. And so I left and the world wouldn't miss us at all. I wouldn't deserve another look from you.
Now I sit in despair, you're further and further, every word I write only creates distance. I can't tell you the reason of why you're still in me. I only feel that I lost all I had in a moment mistaken. This wasn't our time, will we get a second chance? But now you belong to the past, the nightmares control my nights when I don't have insomnia, the images of you are perpetrated and consumed and I only see darkness along with your arms reaching for mine yet distancing, going away until you're darkness as well. This blindness won't disappear and the world doesn't want me to perish, the Goddess won't let me to. I'm nothing and I can't give nothing that I didn't have tried to give you before. You're so much more of me, you mean too much for me, are you allowing me to let me die?
One night of lights and laughter, I tasted your lips and you ran away. You shock your head away and used the first boat home to your mean of safety, your own self. I meant nothing to you yet you returned to that place with me. Your vision made me smile for days and nights. Your lips once again in mine and I was in a dream. A dream where you could smile and we held hands, no one else around mattered. We went home and words were the only night and life remaining here. You, in my bed, just the silence and the two of us. Life stood frozen in the dead of the night for us. Still you wouldn't look me in the eyes, still you refused to acquire the love that I felt and still feel for you. It was a last chance of acquaintance for this time. In the next morning you said goodbye and travelled through the fog, into uncertain waters. I couldn't see your face or make you smile again. More of a punishment that life itself. The words I typed with you in the nights of longing reached somewhere that wasn't you, still I saw you again. Once last time and you in my arms. Amidst the sunsets that I've never seen, in that unknown land that you walk around, I saw the trees with you and the sadness in your eyes. A day passed and I didn't even heard the hours pass. You just ran and I didn't saw you leave me behind. And so I left and the world wouldn't miss us at all. I wouldn't deserve another look from you.
Now I sit in despair, you're further and further, every word I write only creates distance. I can't tell you the reason of why you're still in me. I only feel that I lost all I had in a moment mistaken. This wasn't our time, will we get a second chance? But now you belong to the past, the nightmares control my nights when I don't have insomnia, the images of you are perpetrated and consumed and I only see darkness along with your arms reaching for mine yet distancing, going away until you're darkness as well. This blindness won't disappear and the world doesn't want me to perish, the Goddess won't let me to. I'm nothing and I can't give nothing that I didn't have tried to give you before. You're so much more of me, you mean too much for me, are you allowing me to let me die?
sábado, 10 de janeiro de 2009
quinta-feira, 8 de janeiro de 2009
Fool
Fool
A fool today, you'll be a fool everyday.
Changing,
Yearning for the change to come and burn the desire,
Awaiting to death to come and take you to the infernal fire.
Still, I'm standing still, for the right cause, for the right to be and to breath.
So cold,
This distance has got me old,
So I think of you and I destroy myself in a spiral of thoughts.
Imprisonment, dark caress in this cage,
The halo burning above my head,
Changing lights as I change the sorrow for melancholy.
And time stops,
And I stop with it, longing for you and your touch.
Trapped
Trapped by own will to my own self.
Drowning innocence,
Spending my time with you in a strange silence of a lie.
Absorbing insanity,
And quitting this fight.
So shame come on me and let the primal desire, a carnal temptation
Of a abstract painting to paint itself with dead colours.
And a gallery of frozen pictures,
Showing down the hallway
The blood of the souls and the touch that you gave me.
A fool today, you'll be a fool everyday.
Changing,
Yearning for the change to come and burn the desire,
Awaiting to death to come and take you to the infernal fire.
Still, I'm standing still, for the right cause, for the right to be and to breath.
So cold,
This distance has got me old,
So I think of you and I destroy myself in a spiral of thoughts.
Imprisonment, dark caress in this cage,
The halo burning above my head,
Changing lights as I change the sorrow for melancholy.
And time stops,
And I stop with it, longing for you and your touch.
Trapped
Trapped by own will to my own self.
Drowning innocence,
Spending my time with you in a strange silence of a lie.
Absorbing insanity,
And quitting this fight.
So shame come on me and let the primal desire, a carnal temptation
Of a abstract painting to paint itself with dead colours.
And a gallery of frozen pictures,
Showing down the hallway
The blood of the souls and the touch that you gave me.
A shell of lies
Thou art nothing more than something special to me.
And the distance, the cold nights, the stupidity of this fight are nothing more than pain. Surreal, unreal, this cold that covers my spine and goes through my lungs. Frozen, shortness of breath, I faint, falling to a darkness with no dreams, where nights pass along with no rest. Even though my eyes are closed, my mind is awake and so am I. The music keeps playing my feelings and the short memories of you are the wounds that burn through out the night and life. Once again deserted, failed to communicate how much I loved you. The words would play in my mind yet they wouldn't come out of my mouth into your ears and heart. Such a cold, I couldn't resist and succumb to this emptiness. And so I dirge into another insomnia in this psycho state - I repeat to myself, this is just another twist in life. This darkness burns all around me and I'm still so cold.
Keep me warm through this snowy times. Let us play like angels in white surface as the serpent rest along in the piece of our joy. Let the trees build society in the perfect away, in harmony of certain destruction. We'll be the parents of the revolution inside of the steel. And even though the tears won't break the building, we'll find peace in our own little selves, the Universe we've built. At the sunshine of our insanity, the rainbow of our loneliness, we couldn't have enough to give to have something to take. Construct the measurements to this distance and my fragility loops, timeless. And timelessly, I drift from a sea of rage to a land of melancholy. All because the snow keeps falling and I don't see your wings here nor the serpent's eye in the corner.
I'm chained to this curse. Definitely lost inside the same spiral, spinning over and over and over. Even the green seems purple to me now, distorted as my mind is. The only thing still clear inside this haze is the love that you made me feel and without mercy took to a sewer. Acknowledge that our times have passed, pitiless, shallow me. Counting cards to the downfall of the river, so shall I pass away into the spirits realm and hunt your passion at nights of Summer. In a Sun-yellow day, I'll chase you to the shadows and there find you naked, awaiting my phantasm touch. But my hands pass right through your skin and I sink in sorrow, almost poltergeist, you save me from self-destruction.
Leave the seas of the Mediteranian winds and travel to African wastelands, there you'll find the warmth I couldn't give you. Amidst the deserts find the wreath to dig a river and destroy what the Goddess has created. Follow you destiny of discerniment, desrespectful child of my passion. Proceed into the elite change of the warrior, find the blood to transform this demon in a complete imortal waste. Ashamed not to resist such a weak way to be with you again. Can't I just run into a blackhole and hide? Tell me I'm more than a petal in the rose that you are. I'm unable to keep up with this pain, put my eternal life to an end. It tires me so, having to run all the time, to hide my face and to still be judged by my silence. Let my twisted and pale hand go, I shall dream the dream again and never awake.
And the distance, the cold nights, the stupidity of this fight are nothing more than pain. Surreal, unreal, this cold that covers my spine and goes through my lungs. Frozen, shortness of breath, I faint, falling to a darkness with no dreams, where nights pass along with no rest. Even though my eyes are closed, my mind is awake and so am I. The music keeps playing my feelings and the short memories of you are the wounds that burn through out the night and life. Once again deserted, failed to communicate how much I loved you. The words would play in my mind yet they wouldn't come out of my mouth into your ears and heart. Such a cold, I couldn't resist and succumb to this emptiness. And so I dirge into another insomnia in this psycho state - I repeat to myself, this is just another twist in life. This darkness burns all around me and I'm still so cold.
Keep me warm through this snowy times. Let us play like angels in white surface as the serpent rest along in the piece of our joy. Let the trees build society in the perfect away, in harmony of certain destruction. We'll be the parents of the revolution inside of the steel. And even though the tears won't break the building, we'll find peace in our own little selves, the Universe we've built. At the sunshine of our insanity, the rainbow of our loneliness, we couldn't have enough to give to have something to take. Construct the measurements to this distance and my fragility loops, timeless. And timelessly, I drift from a sea of rage to a land of melancholy. All because the snow keeps falling and I don't see your wings here nor the serpent's eye in the corner.
I'm chained to this curse. Definitely lost inside the same spiral, spinning over and over and over. Even the green seems purple to me now, distorted as my mind is. The only thing still clear inside this haze is the love that you made me feel and without mercy took to a sewer. Acknowledge that our times have passed, pitiless, shallow me. Counting cards to the downfall of the river, so shall I pass away into the spirits realm and hunt your passion at nights of Summer. In a Sun-yellow day, I'll chase you to the shadows and there find you naked, awaiting my phantasm touch. But my hands pass right through your skin and I sink in sorrow, almost poltergeist, you save me from self-destruction.
Leave the seas of the Mediteranian winds and travel to African wastelands, there you'll find the warmth I couldn't give you. Amidst the deserts find the wreath to dig a river and destroy what the Goddess has created. Follow you destiny of discerniment, desrespectful child of my passion. Proceed into the elite change of the warrior, find the blood to transform this demon in a complete imortal waste. Ashamed not to resist such a weak way to be with you again. Can't I just run into a blackhole and hide? Tell me I'm more than a petal in the rose that you are. I'm unable to keep up with this pain, put my eternal life to an end. It tires me so, having to run all the time, to hide my face and to still be judged by my silence. Let my twisted and pale hand go, I shall dream the dream again and never awake.
quarta-feira, 7 de janeiro de 2009
A freezing death
A death in the whisper of the wind, blood rejected in the wound, malice that never sleeps in this eyes. Ethereal battle inside repeated through out ages that more seem like nights of blindness and confusion. The dagger sinks deeper inside and finds only a bleeding heart to empty veins. Freezing body, white in ice, so far yet a reflecting bellow my feet. Discovered a letter bellow the ice and still I see her tears in it as I imagine her writing those words, lost in her loneliness. Amidst the honesty, there's a sign of pain, a rage for failure, atonement for her weakness to fall on her knees that night into my lips. And as I fell for her, she fell inside and became a broken toy once more. I reached a helping hand in my mind but to realise that I wouldn't be satisfying anyone but my self. Destroyed her, she left me. And with the letter in one hand, the dagger in the other and tears in her eyes, she killed herself.
A story is to be told. It was Spring, yet a summering vision was brought before me. In that camp of flowers where the deserts die, she was walking to no-where. Her lips moved and constructed a signal of lunacy but her eyes where as seductive as a serpents bite. I couldn't, I shouldn't resist this temptation. So I walked for what seemed to be countries of distance. She walked head down, never noticing me. And despair took over, she was in another world, building alone her Universe. In a wave of the wind her hair fell down so her hand moved and her head went up. Our eyes crossed but she flew away as quickly as my I almost died in that moment. But I couldn't resist, I had to fell her touch, had to be inside of her and kiss her lips. As the day submit and the day reign there, I moved through the flowers towards her. She was my only objective, I had to love her. This flowers ended and I walked in a graveyard where the only colour is grey and the Moon doesn't come out to play. Surrounded by her ghosts, depression has been put aside and a vast felling of nothing raised and dominated. I just had to yell my name but I was mute. In her mind only love exists. Grabbed her hand and ran from there.
Now in the Summer, we've built smiles together and the music was no longer mine, it was ours. I honestly could think that June was a day away from eternity. So it is still in my death bed and in my mind. She'd have conquered my heart and my soul but left me speechless. No matter, I had her hand in mine and her lips in my mind. Her head, her lines, hypnotic, frantic. Addicted, I couldn't breath. In our house, near the lake, we fell in joy and in love, swimming towards the horizon, never reaching the end. But breath should do no harm, she left me behind. She was still in her mind and in her Universe. In all truth, I believed in her. But she left. The house was empty and a could Autumn would stay in her place. No tears to replace the lake of summer in this house, she had fled once again to the graveyard. And a Autumn it took for me to get there again. Her sight was now a mirage, more beautiful that ever but with even a bigger despair created in me. And the distance was real, so I knew from the snow.
We entered the freezing Winter. How I missed the snow. Mute tears came from her eyes as she fell to her knees. She had spotted me as I walked forth in all my love and selfishness. I couldn't let her be, I tried to change her. And she yelled, for the first time I heard her voice. In fear and respect I stayed away. With one look she told to me that love was gone, only death would be with her in her acquaintance. So I flew away with the wind, fallen leafs cutting my skin but her words killing my soul. In mind I stayed there all night to make sure she would survive the cold but the body refused to move. The hate wouldn't let me swim again and the pride wouldn't let me think of her. But still I loved her in the cold and empty bed. And so I missed her, dying little by little inside. With a whisper of the wind I came to the lake to find her letter frozen and her body on the ice. The dagger had hit where no one else touched, her heart. And the tears in the letter underlined that I was her heart and soul, her body only needed rest. So I died with her, at the sharp hands of that dagger.
A story is to be told. It was Spring, yet a summering vision was brought before me. In that camp of flowers where the deserts die, she was walking to no-where. Her lips moved and constructed a signal of lunacy but her eyes where as seductive as a serpents bite. I couldn't, I shouldn't resist this temptation. So I walked for what seemed to be countries of distance. She walked head down, never noticing me. And despair took over, she was in another world, building alone her Universe. In a wave of the wind her hair fell down so her hand moved and her head went up. Our eyes crossed but she flew away as quickly as my I almost died in that moment. But I couldn't resist, I had to fell her touch, had to be inside of her and kiss her lips. As the day submit and the day reign there, I moved through the flowers towards her. She was my only objective, I had to love her. This flowers ended and I walked in a graveyard where the only colour is grey and the Moon doesn't come out to play. Surrounded by her ghosts, depression has been put aside and a vast felling of nothing raised and dominated. I just had to yell my name but I was mute. In her mind only love exists. Grabbed her hand and ran from there.
Now in the Summer, we've built smiles together and the music was no longer mine, it was ours. I honestly could think that June was a day away from eternity. So it is still in my death bed and in my mind. She'd have conquered my heart and my soul but left me speechless. No matter, I had her hand in mine and her lips in my mind. Her head, her lines, hypnotic, frantic. Addicted, I couldn't breath. In our house, near the lake, we fell in joy and in love, swimming towards the horizon, never reaching the end. But breath should do no harm, she left me behind. She was still in her mind and in her Universe. In all truth, I believed in her. But she left. The house was empty and a could Autumn would stay in her place. No tears to replace the lake of summer in this house, she had fled once again to the graveyard. And a Autumn it took for me to get there again. Her sight was now a mirage, more beautiful that ever but with even a bigger despair created in me. And the distance was real, so I knew from the snow.
We entered the freezing Winter. How I missed the snow. Mute tears came from her eyes as she fell to her knees. She had spotted me as I walked forth in all my love and selfishness. I couldn't let her be, I tried to change her. And she yelled, for the first time I heard her voice. In fear and respect I stayed away. With one look she told to me that love was gone, only death would be with her in her acquaintance. So I flew away with the wind, fallen leafs cutting my skin but her words killing my soul. In mind I stayed there all night to make sure she would survive the cold but the body refused to move. The hate wouldn't let me swim again and the pride wouldn't let me think of her. But still I loved her in the cold and empty bed. And so I missed her, dying little by little inside. With a whisper of the wind I came to the lake to find her letter frozen and her body on the ice. The dagger had hit where no one else touched, her heart. And the tears in the letter underlined that I was her heart and soul, her body only needed rest. So I died with her, at the sharp hands of that dagger.
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