I simply am

In my life I've question my own existence and my purpose in this Earth. I can't make the water run wild, I can't make the sky blue or the land green. I'm not a God, I'm worst, I'm a lie, I'm a demon that appears only at night in the deepest shadows of your mind, just to make you scared, I'm a nightmare, I'm everything and a part of nothing. I simply am a part of this universe, as vast as it is, consider me as a void, a nothing, a black hole that sucks all the life and joy from you.
I can walk, I can talk, I can cry, I can be myself and I can be someone else. I can laugh, I can smile, I can lie and I can tell the truth in the streets of your life. I'm not a star, I'm not a drop in the ocean, I'm not a piece of dust in the ground, I'm not a leaf in the tree. I'm myself and still I lie to others about myself. Few and wrong the people who know me. Knowledge hard and dangerous to get. I only cry in the rain so no one can see me cry. I whisper in the wind my pain so everyone can hear it but don't know from who is it.
I look away when a smile appears in my face, I try to cover my happiness from the people around me just to get more attention from them. I don't know why I'm this way. Because I'm not happy with the attention of everyone because it annoys me but I don't like to pass like I'm invisible. I bring chaos and panic to everyone around me. If I could still believe that I can accomplish my dreams, if I told you that I'm still well enough in my head to keep this lie going, to keep on living, to stop being so self-destructive. I can't say that I'm the one to save you from madness, I'm not the one to make a new world, I'm not the one to save the good from the terror that is evil.
People can't save them selves so why should I care about them? They mean nothing to me. The have showed me that I'm as useless as fire in the water. My wolves, they're there, somewhere, they cry to the moon for my sanity. They say that I'm in the end of my life and they're right. Too many people have said to me that they hate me, that I should die, to step aside and let them live. But how could I go on if, even to those people, I was just another meaningless person that appeared by mistake in their lifes? If, even to my friends, at some point, I was a meaningless person and a huge source of happiness and joy at the same time? I confuse myself with this words that I say, that I write, that I shout, that I think. Where all those fights meaningless for my existence? Where all those kisses and moments of joy nothing that could help me from falling in despair like I am right now?
No one to save me from the simple me. Because I simply am...

I simply am,
I don't fight anymore,
I won't breath anymore,
There's too much pain to bare.