Thoughts of you 2

Something's missing in me. There's an empty space in my heart that she made when she broke away, freely like the butterfly that she claims to be. I'm nostalgic, like I always am, but the thoughts of you and me in the those old times are bringing me even more pain because the one that you're with now is the only one that ever made me really jealous when we were dating. It looks like I was right and that you really never gave a damn to me. It was all a shame, a cover of what was really in your heart. And now you're there, with him all the time and I'm here, alone and broken, feeling the wind whisper a silent note into my hear telling me that you're alright and happy. I'm over you, I know, but sometimes I question if I'm really feeling that. Because I've thinking a lot about you lately and wishing that you would fly back here, near me and comfort me in my time of need just like it was before.
Remember those nights and days that we've spent in the phone, just talking and knowing each other? We really never knew each other, as much as we spoke and now you far and I can't communicate with you to know if you're really alright as the wind whispers to me. And nothing I do, nothing that others say will drive this pain away. And one of my biggest supports just told me to hate you, just told me to forget about you but here I am, disappoint her and writing to you again knowing, though, that you'll never read this and that time will erase this infernal thoughts. But will I ever see you again, see those beautiful blue eyes that I used to have here, at the end of this page, and will I hear our music again and smile with you because you're with me again? Have you forgotten those letters that I wrote to you, those words telling you the words that I couldn't say at the time with meaning, the words that are now forbidden to me by the sinners of hate.
I close myself in this shell that you've left behind because I can only barely breath. The thoughts of you are crushing my head, blocking my mind and consuming my soul. What is this isolation that you've made me come to? Why did you left behind all those moments? All gone away, for better or for worst, I've traded your ghost for my perdition. But still you hunt me and I can't take out of my head your memories, your smile, your eyes. How I got lost in your eyes. Those blue snakes that crawled into my eyes and took over my vision. Those deep blue sea eyes. They're the one's that I miss the most. And your kiss. Your sweet and to due for kiss.
What have I lost? What have I gained? This heart is still empty and nothing can fill it again except you. It's not love, it's just pain in my memories.