Burning trees in my eyes

It's hard to see the light when I'm surrounded by the darkness of my own being. I absorb every inch of you and lay it on my soul so I can see you as a burden and not as a future salvation. Erase all my errors in the past to carry on, to be punished by someone else. I cannot continue to save this life you made, I can't take you to the garden of happiness that you see in your dreams. I won't bring you nothing by rain clouds, my own. It's the burning trees in my eyes.
I haven't seen this dust for a while, I can't keep the shadows from closing in, still I remember you as tear, I consider you my blessing, a gift which I cannot take. Bound to this world, devotion turned obsession in so little time. I became the faceless expression in your dreams, I became the toxic rain drops that slowly devour who you are and your perfect garden. For that reason, the most important one, I must stand back, be a viewer of my own show of self-destruction. I can't be burning in those trees of my eyes.
I hide myself behind these enigmatic eyes, a refugee for my own sorrow. I don't even know myself, my true and extensive capacities. I cannot explore my inner self, why should you care? I won't mix with that dust that the Summer has brought, I'll always be the rain, toxic if you wish to. But my real distance will be on the inside, where you can't touch, no one can. I won't allow another burning leaf to be the cause of my thoughts and the consequence of my actions. Let my regrets be a lesson to you. Let my life be your journey. Let my body be your time. Let me take that happiness and make my own for I need a little more fire for the forest that never comes to an end. I'll consume myself to the core while you are around me.