segunda-feira, 26 de fevereiro de 2007


Took a picture of my guitar today to someday remember this day. I sat down on my bed looking at the my hands while they're shaking, maybe of cold, maybe of fear even maybe of disease, but they were shaking. Something told me that this world is not what it seems and all we say and do is just to please our friends. I listened to the radio while one of my favourite songs was playing and I just stood there listening, like a statue, with my eyes glassed looking to never land, dreaming of something new. I wanted to sing the music but, though I knew the lyrics, I didn't for some strange reason. Then I started to wonder. Will tomorrow be any different, will it be the same or will we have a new and true world to live in? Will people pass me in the street and say hello or just simply say what they think honestly? Honestly I don't care because I live in my own world and I simply like it.
Until yesterday I was living in her world but not today. That was the thing that changed in this world. Though I still love her, yes because that kind of feelings just don't go way easily, I don't live behind her shadow or think of her wherever I go. I say that this is my pain and that she's the cause of my suffering, but that are all excuses to escape the real felling that comes from the deep shadows of my soul. My true feelings are that I want to follow her and still kill myself for being so weak. But no more her! No more waiting.
Tomorrow will I change my speech? Can someone teach me how to live in the true way of living? Today I have my band formed but will I live until tomorrow to see them all together and to play on stage with them and kick ass? I'm in pain cause I want and I ain't happy cause so is my life. It's not up to me to chose my path but it's up to me to live to know what's coming tomorrow. Will my friends be with me until I die or will they betray me while I still live? Well I still live to some people but my soul is dead because of this life and because I wanted it to die. I need to see my soul cry and I need to feel my tears come down my face. But that is false because I can't cry any more, at least not until tomorrow.

It is Death stalking me,
waiting for me in the shadows,
so is my fate,
so is my life.

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