Virus

Slowly eating my brain, tearing it apart. A virus in my head telling me how to live and controlling my feelings. If I can't love what can I do? Hate. Hate that I have a virus and that I'm slowly turning to one myself. I'll come back to where I once was in a happy place, with no virus in sight.
A land where children could see the sun and the blue sky. In those times I could say to my children: "Say what you want for we are free and no trouble is in sight." Sad I am now for my mistake and even more sad for my children are dead now for they were seduced and used by my words that killed them.
Cutting my veins open, making myself cry, desperate for your help I seek in the darkness a light that represents the hope I once had in myself. Only hope that I have now it's yours because it's my life on the risk but my heart is in your hands. For this virus is trying to control me but you're the only place in my mind where he'll never find or even suspect.
Dark in my eyes, ask me what is wrong, let me tell you that I love the felling, the felling of my brain being eaten. Some words are misunderstood but nor from or for you. What I say and what I said to you I mean and meant it for you are the special one and I know that when I don't have a brain you'll be always beside me taking care of me for your memory will always live and the virus will never find it though it will destroy it slowly without it even knowing. Love you my angel of freedom and still you're killing me and the virus is eating my brain.
In the fields of the war will the virus came out and say to the world that he's the cause of destruction or will you reveal your self with your white wings and you black hair covering the sun and the fields letting me finally have some rest?