Be my being - Part I

Remember me to forget you, you've become something so untrue, in my mind, something so fake, unnatural, a freak, more than a chance, a way to redemption, a regret that I'll never forget until the day that I forget myself. Hear me scream in the dead silence, see me dancing in the night when it rains, read my letters sent to nobody else than you, suicidal intents that you have cut by the autumn leafs, the scars on your writs that show the true meaning of death in this horror life, brought by the fantasy of your maker. A false god to a real society, a soul meaning to all that is lost, sellers to fill your mind of spent time looking to yourself in the mirror, feeling pity for yourself, wishing that your reflection gained life and pushed you into the mirror where life is nothing more than a lost time, hoping that another being, from another world come and appears in front of you. Your mind so dark, your soul so gray, you intentions always unclear, you will to live trough the battle of peace dying as much as time is slipping away, grains of sand that are nothing more than a reflection of what you once thought to be your life, your destiny. Can you show me your true being of the inside or are you that reflection that already came out of the mirror? You forgot me has I forgot you, as the sands of time moved towards the desert to die, as the wind whispered the last leaf on the tree, as the sky that was once blue, forgot it's happiness and brought the tears of the gods in the form of rain. Clouds that fill up the sky above us, rain drops that fall and wet our empty heads while we're looking at each other, with that surprise smile, being so fake as the truth can be. I see my reflection in you, while your head is playing a film of your life that is me, your memories spread trough the ashes of the awaken, remembering the forsaken. It's you! It has always been you. The truth, the meaning, the look over the shoulder in the shadows wishing that there was no stranger behind you, waiting patiently for the darkest street to rape you. You're so fake in your truthful way, you're the life that the dead wish they never had, your the memories of the death of our own family, the childhood that hunts me, night and day, hour by hour, in my sleep, in my dreams, with my open eyes, in my empty mind. You're my curse, you're my anger, you're the one that brings me up to put me down once again, hard as ever a rock was. You're the abyss that makes men fall, you're the black hole that will swallow the Earth and bring the Apocalypse. Why were you born? You only exist in my mind now, you're the memory of my cursed youth, the reason why I hate kids. You slipped away while I was sleeping in our hill, where the grass was green and the sun would shine forever on us. I've never seen you in this years, why are you coming back to hunt me again? You're killing me slowly, not smoothly. Why do you say that you're here for joy when all that you give to me is the thoughts of wasted hours, wasted days, wasted tears and fake smiles. So painfully I follow my shadow into the light, hoping for the burn. You're not me, while I'm your life. You're only my curse. My perfect angel that avenges the creator of happiness, destroyed my thoughts of life, since I lost you. I'm feeling tired of the thoughts of you, why does your shadow still appears in my dreams, calling for me, leading my into certain death, waiting for that love that never existed and that will never exist. I got sick of waiting for the day that you'll appear again in front of me, with a smile on your face, causing me the anger that, somehow, was always hidden when I needed it. Tonight I need you, tomorrow I'll hate you, I'm your life, you're my lie, my curse. Be my being.