Feelling of something missing

Red is the moon in my night. Black is my sky at day. Hard is the way that I feel my body when I get up in the morning. Sleepy head, as like a bear, but it's not my choice, it's not my word that counts, it's just that felling that something is missing. Something more important than life, more that Death or worshipping a God. It's just that felling of something missing. It's easy when you think about it but it's hard when you try to figure that out. My felling fills me. My felling does me. My felling tells me what is my life and who is my love.
I'm nobody, just a body that holds the truth within, to protect it from the world. My world is an empty box that I build in my head since I was young. I live within it because I'm afraid of the world. I live within it because the felling is telling me that something is missing. I've token back all my believing and the will to save the world because this felling came to me. I left my world back home just to go to some adventure that only exists in my head. They told me that it was wrong and they've proved me wrong but still I compromised and kept my word to this world. I cry in the rain because that way no-one can see that I'm crying. I fear for my soul right now but nothing more I can do or say will save this poor domesticated body from hell.
Neither love, neither hate will tell me my future. No God, no Devil, no beyond, no after-life. Just the emptiness of the lack of life could tell me that I was right. And I am. Pain never hit me right in the face. No matter now. My own life I'll take just for my own purpose. No own to hear me, no shoulder to cry on, no more lies to tell, no more places to fear or to hope just the naked truth that is the body and weight of this world.
Felling of something missing is filling me, to the point of no reach, won't you please take me??