I feel the pressure to fall down to my knees and plied for mercy, to find a way to survive in the middle of this jungle of life. It's coming from all of you. You're currently missing the point. You're simply not understanding. I'm talking again with my friends but it's not get back to what it was. Because it will never be like that again. Right now is better until evil knocks in my minds door again. If I hate, I'm an idiot. If I love, I'm too emotional. If I'm myself, I all of the bad things in the world. Too bad for you. I'm myself forever more, get used to it. Maybe later I'll change but for now this is who I am.
About the hate for my former love: it's real and it's healthy. It's a way to let my rage out. Don't care what you think. It's real, can't ignore it. I'll hail the dead to hate her for the pain she has caused me. I don't want to meet nobody new because I don't want to feel the pain again, over and over again, like a stupid and simple human that just doesn't care of what is to think. You need love to make yourselves feel beautiful or needed. I don't because all I need right now is myself and my demons, left in the dark of my room and in the corner of my mind. I'll let the fire of my rage take over my soul if that makes me feel better.
I can't look directly at the sun because it blinds me. I can't cry because it makes me weak to my eyes. I can and want to bleed because it's my food, it's my way to survive and my ticket to the throne of my seven universes. And no, I don't need help to "cure" my fuckin mental problem because I simply don't have one. I'm myself and no one nor nothing can change that. Accept it!