sábado, 7 de julho de 2007


Torn apart and unwilling to put myself together once again, I lay in the ground that welcomed me once and the will comfort me forever more. I'll take my eternal rest soon, I'll leave this world to go to the Hell kingdom to conquer it and frozen it so I can stay quiet forever, in a hole where no one is found neither wants to be found, where the sound is torn to silence and where blood means Death. Oh the sweet death that covers all of the Universe, quickly taking more souls to the forever more than the humans that profane your world. Won't that Death take me too?
Soon it is night and I can see my desire burn with the sun crashing down in the horizon. My energy seems to get back to me, my will to stay forever quiet is now stronger and confirmed by the shadow of the moon in the sky. Moon, my real mother, in the sky, shinning in the nightly skies making me smile because I know that she's shinning for me, showing me that she cares and that she wants me near her. She's quiet, she's wise and she's there, but too far away from me, removing all my sanity from my mind. It's to her I cry when I'm absent, it's to her I smile when I see a star passing by in the sky, it's to her that I'll soon die. I'll be forever more quiet with her.
In this day, my opinion is wrong, is from an idiot or is censored. I can't say what I feel without having someone yelling at me for my will. I'm not an idiot, I'm not what you wished I would be and I'm glad I'm not like that because it would be just too stupid to live that way. I'm my own self, I like the dark and it's quietness. I don't need help, I don't need people saying that I'm stupid, I don't need my friends telling me to feel better, even now that they're gone. I only need to be quiet, with my thoughts and darkness, remembering the times that I was happy, my years of innocence, the afternoons that I've spent with her where we were both foolish and only playing was the world. Not music or mind sanity, not eating nor family, just playing. let me be quiet.
I still remember her cute green eyes, what I miss the most about her. It was her the first love, though she didn't get it. She was after someone else. And I stood, quiet. Now I don't see her in years, I'm not sure if she still thinks of me, if she liked me or the other guy, if she remembers me. Anyway she feels or remembers, I'm not the person she knew, I'm too damn concerned in my thoughts that I would just push her away like I did to my friends. I go to sleep in my pit of self pity, glad for what I am and crying for what other people aren't. I lost my faith for humanity now I'll loose my faith for the people around me. I like me and that's what matters for me. If someone changes and if you find me, Inês, I'll be in the darkest corner of my bedroom consoling my gray soul, telling that my body will finally let it go to fly to the end of the Universe and be quiet.

1 comentário:

Kath disse...

You're not stupid, you're not an idiot and you are not alone.